Begun, This Nuzlocke Challenge Has, or, How a Dunsparce Nearly Ruined Everything That Was Ever Good and True

It has begun. I traded my party over to my White version and started a Nuzlocke challenge on White 2. I started with a beautiful Oshawott named hey man. He is calm and valiant, and he hates to lose. Good thing he NEVER WILL.

Our first wild encounter was a Patrat. Hey man was so furious that he demolished it and ate it whole before I could reign him in. Okay, time to confess a secret... I could have stopped him. But I didn't.

We caught a Lillipup on the next route. Her name is come on but he could've been called General Chomp-Your-Skull-Off, because she is a hardy little bloodhound who likes to fight more than she likes her own mother.

Our first gym challenge was over in seconds as come on chomped Cheren's puny little normal-types into smithereens. Hey man sat by my side and watched, crossing his stubby little arms with satisfaction. His hands needed not be dirtied.

Route 20 is where it all got real. We were challenged to a battle by a nursery aide with a Dunsparce. A DUNSPARCE. Hey now was at half heath, so I switched him out, not expecting the Dunsparce to use PURSUIT for double damage. I wet my pants as hey man escaped with one hit point to spare, leaving only come on the Lillipup to take down this ridiculous titan. The Dunsparce immediately used rollout, the most fearsome of moves, as anyone who battled Whitney's Miltank in Gold/Silver will attest. Come on bit and bit, and the Dunsparce, unflinching and disgusting, kept rolling beefier. Finally come on chomped it in half, only bearing 5 HP to her name. Come on, hey man and I held each other close last night, more aware of the fleeting, precious nature of life than ever before.

Virbank city was no more difficult. Our wild encounter south of the city was a naughty little Magnemite by the name of whoa there, who is also highly persistent - a fine quality to have in a band of unstoppable champions. Whoa there is so persistent, in fact, that he decimated Roxie's party singlehandedly in a harbinger of things to come. Once more, hey there watched by my side in satisfaction. He is too good for this, you see.

Since then, hey now and come on have evolved into devastating, tyrannical versions of their former selves. Now we're ransacking Castelia City's battle company, a building full of pokemon trainers who wear suits, lose battles, and somehow make a profit???

My Dewott hates to lose. Until now, we have not lost... and nothing will stand in our way.